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Afraid to Get Hurt? The Courage of an Open Heart

Writer's picture: Vanesa Eleonor Vale MendozaVanesa Eleonor Vale Mendoza

Updated: 3 days ago

We’re often told to “follow our hearts,” to “live authentically,” and to “love unconditionally.” These phrases, while beautiful in their sentiment, often feel like distant ideals, floating just out of reach. Why? Because living with an open heart, truly vulnerable and exposed, takes a kind of courage that feels increasingly rare in our world. It’s a courage that comes with a price, a cost that many are unwilling to pay.


woman holding a heart

What does it mean to live openhearted? It's more than just being friendly or extroverted. It signifies a deep, internal state of being where you allow yourself to be seen, truly seen, with all your imperfections, fears, and hopes. It involves dismantling the walls we build around our hearts for protection and choosing, instead, to connect with the world and the people in it from a place of vulnerability. It boils down to choosing love over fear, even when fear screams the loudest.


This openness can manifest in countless ways. It's the artist pouring their soul onto the canvas, the entrepreneur risking everything for a dream, the friend offering a shoulder to cry on, the activist speaking truth to power, the parent loving their child unconditionally, even through tantrums and teenage rebellion. It's in the small, everyday moments too: choosing honesty over pretense, offering forgiveness instead of holding a grudge, expressing gratitude, and daring to say "I love you" without reservation.


But here’s the rub: this kind of openhearted living is terrifying. It leaves us exposed to potential hurt, rejection, and judgment.


When we open our hearts, we risk:


  • Heartbreak: Love, in all its forms, carries the inherent risk of pain. Opening ourselves to deep connection means opening ourselves to the possibility of loss and grief. This is perhaps the most significant cost of an open heart.


  • Vulnerability: Being vulnerable is often equated with weakness. In a culture that glorifies stoicism and self-sufficiency, admitting our fears, insecurities, and needs can feel incredibly risky. We fear being judged, ridiculed, or seen as inadequate.


  • Disappointment: When we live openheartedly, we invest our time, energy, and emotions in others and in our dreams. Sometimes, these investments don't yield the results we hoped for. People let us down, projects fail, and dreams remain unrealized. This can lead to profound disappointment and disillusionment.


  • Betrayal: Perhaps the most devastating cost of an open heart is the possibility of betrayal. Trusting someone deeply and then having that trust broken can leave scars that run deep. It can make us question our judgment and make us hesitant to open our hearts again in the future.


Given these potential costs, it’s no wonder so many choose to armor their hearts, to live behind walls of cynicism, detachment, and emotional numbness. It feels safer, more controlled. But what is the cost of that choice? What do we lose when we close ourselves off from the world?

The answer, I believe, is everything. We lose the capacity for deep joy, profound connection, and authentic love. We lose the opportunity to experience the full spectrum of human emotion, the exhilarating highs and the poignant lows that make life rich and meaningful. We lose the chance to truly live, to embrace the messy, imperfect, beautiful reality of being human.


Choosing to live openheartedly is not about being naive or reckless. It entails making a conscious decision to prioritize connection, love, and authenticity, even in the face of fear and uncertainty. It means recognizing that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather a courageous act of self-acceptance and self-expression.


It’s also about developing resilience. Knowing that we will experience pain, disappointment, and perhaps even betrayal, but choosing to rise again, to heal, and to continue to open our hearts to the world. This resilience is not about becoming hardened or cynical, but rather about cultivating the inner strength to navigate the inevitable challenges of life with grace and compassion, both for ourselves and for others.


Living with an open heart is a lifelong journey. It’s a daily practice of choosing love over fear, connection over isolation, and authenticity over pretense. It’s a continuous process of learning, growing, and healing.

And while the costs can be significant, the rewards – a life lived fully, deeply, and authentically – are immeasurable. The question is not whether we can afford to live openheartedly, but whether we can afford not to.🌻



 





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